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On this, the first day of San Diego Comic-Con 2024, I have one small plea to put out into the world — one tiny request that I know, in my heart of hearts, will likely go unnoticed, but feels necessary nonetheless. Dear SDCC attendees, I beg of you: please, please, let this be the year when you learn to use public bathrooms in a better manner.

For those unfamiliar with the particular experience of comic convention bathrooms — I almost wrote, “particular joy,” but worry that isn’t exactly the correct word to describe quite what it’s like — I am, on some level, saddened on your behalf. Simply put: imagine the traditional act of using a public restroom, especially during some kind of communal event such as a concert or sporting event, and then add the beautiful surreality of cosplay. On the face of it, it’s a very small, very simple, very thrilling difference: who could fail to be happy when you’re standing in line next to Superman, SpongeBob, or one out of any number of Ricks and/or Morties that will be seen throughout the weekend, after all?

Cosplay, alas, is often time-consuming when it comes to getting into and out of costumes to answer the call of nature, and complicated to the point of requiring almost complete strip-downs to allow for access to the appropriate body parts needed for whatever bodily function is making that call. Both things can make the ebb and flow of a convention bathroom a significantly slower and more involved thing than might be anticipated in advance, leading to Convention Bathroom Etiquette Lesson #1: Always allow for more time than you think you will require, because you never know when Optimus Prime is standing in front of you in the line.

Add to this the genuinely surreal thing that happens specifically at San Diego Comic-Con more than any other convention bathroom out of any of the shows I’ve attended across the years (And remember, I’m a professional and know whereof I speak): urinal shyness. Whatever the reason, men at San Diego Comic-Con seem deathly afraid to use public restroom urinals, instead preferring to wait for an open stall no matter what they need to do, leading to extensive lines snaking out the door at almost every opportunity. This is, curiously, especially true of the restrooms closest to the show floor of the Convention Center, something that sociologists should investigate in future years. Is the problem simply shyness? Is SDCC especially popular with gentlemen who desperately wish to urinate while sitting?

The reason for this annual oddity remains a mystery, and honestly doesn’t really matter — you do you, especially when it comes to bathroom habits, friends — but it does lead to Convention Bathroom Etiquette Lesson #2: Always check what you’re actually waiting in line for, especially men who just need to pee urgently.

It goes without saying that everyone reading this article is all-too-familiar with the need to properly wash their hands between “doing their business” and leaving the restroom. Thankfully, most convention attendees are, as well. (Please note I wrote “most.”) Where convention attendees let themselves down — and make life more difficult for the janitorial staff of the San Diego Convention Center especially, who spend the entire weekend of the show working impossibly hard — is not managing to leave the restroom in a state after washing up. People! Put those paper towels in the trash where they belong! Don’t splash water all over the place in an attempt to speed-wash yourself! Convention Bathroom Etiquette Lesson #3, then: Try not to leave the restroom in a significantly worst state than you found it. Again: This should not come as a surprise.

Again: making these basic suggestions — suggestions that, again, should not be that hard to follow — is perhaps a fruitless activity; the tens-of-thousands of fans that make San Diego Comic-Con what it is every single year are going to do whatever they want, and ensuring a better bathroom experience for everyone is significantly lower down anyone’s list of priorities than, say, getting into Marvel’s Hall H panels or ensuring that the con-exclusive merch of choice will be theirs. (No judgment! Well, depending on what said merchandise is, of course.) Nevertheless, I find myself as the show begins for this year dreaming the impossible dream that, come Sunday morning, the many bathrooms of the San Diego Convention Center will not resemble the sticky dance floor of your favorite club when the lights come on at the end of the night.

Together, maybe, we can make it happen. Maybe this is the year.

Get a fuller San Diego Comic-Con experience with a full rundown of our SDCC 2024 stories, as well as all the big SDCC 2024 news, how to make the most out of San Diego Comic-Con, and the real burning question: how much does it actually cost to go to SDCC?