Have you ever dreamed of having your own Alligator Loki? I’m not talking about those plushies they sell at the Disney Store, I mean a real life pet. Sure, Alligator Loki is fictitious, but let’s be honest, it’s fun to fantasize about having one for a pet. He definitely stole our hearts in Loki season 1. The second season of the Disney+ streaming series premieres on October 6, and while we don’t know if we’ll be seeing the devious reptile in the new episodes, we can find him in Marvel Comics.

Alligator Loki #1 (written by Alyssa Wong and penciled by Bob Quinn) is an adorable one-shot featuring the adventures of Loki’s reptile variant. The dialogue-less comic collects selected issues of the Alligator Loki Infinity Comic. In addition to containing a cuteness overload, the comic also gave us some insight on how to care for an Alligator Loki. Let’s unpack everything we learned.

Warning: Spoilers ahead for Alligator Loki!

1- Take him to a theme park

When Thor finds himself caring for an Alligator Loki, the first thing he does is take his new pet to an Asgardian theme park. I will admit, I never would have come up with that on my own. “Let’s take the alligator to a theme park,” is not something that usually crosses anybody’s mind. However, as the comic demonstrates, Thor and Alligator Loki have the time of their lives. It’s a great way to bond with your pet, and give them some happy memories.

Unfortunately, most theme parks don’t allow alligators, so do your research before trying this. (I feel like I might read about this happening in Florida one day)

2- Never turn your back

I shouldn’t have to say this, but never turn your back on Alligator Loki. First, he’s an alligator, and those reptiles have a reputation for being sly and devious. Second, it’s Alligator LOKI. As in Loki, the God of Mischief. If you aren’t supervising Alligator Loki, you are pretty much guaranteeing chaos.

Thor learns this lesson the hard way when he leaves the room to answer a call from Jane Foster. Alligator Loki spots Mjolnir and tries to steal it. Alligator Loki may be adorable, but he’s not worthy enough to lift the mystical hammer. As a result, Thor’s entire bedroom is messed up, and Mjolnir never moves.

This could have been avoided if Thor had simply gotten a nanny cam.

3- Leashes won’t work, but Mjolnir will

If you’re trying to stop your Alligator Loki from running off, a traditional leash won’t work. The reptile is a trickster and will find a way to escape. Thor struggled with keeping his Alligator Loki in check, as the little guy kept escaping and causing trouble. After Alligator Loki’s rampage wrecked the Avengers’ headquarters, Thor had an unconventional idea. The God of Thunder dropped Mjolnir on Alligator Loki’s back, preventing the animal from moving.

Of course, you would need your own Mjolnir (and need to be worthy) for this to work. But since the idea of owning an Alligator Loki is hypothetical anyway, let your imagination go nuts.

4- Don’t fall for his sad eyes

Alligator Loki might try to steal your heart with his big sad eyes. This is incredibly effective, especially since he’s so adorable. Don’t fall for it, because he’s probably scheming ways to betray you. If you ever come across Alligator Loki and he tries to melt your heart with his sad eyes, ask yourself what his true intentions are.

If you fall for it, don’t feel bad. Even superheroes have succumbed to Alligator Loki’s charms. After Thor put Alligator Loki in a timeout at the zoo, the mischievous gator used his sad eyes on Aaron Fischer and Arielle Agbayani, two members of the Captains Network. Alligator Loki even added some tears to make it more effective. The young heroes never stood a chance. They sprang Alligator Loki from his enclosure, freeing him up for more mischief.

5- Too many treats will give him a tummy-ache

If you want to keep your Alligator Loki happy, make sure you keep his belly full. According to Alligator Loki #1, they enjoy Alligator Mjol-Treats, a special gator snack shaped like Thor’s hammer Mjolnir. Squirrel Girl happened to have a pack in one of her pouches, because you never know when you’ll need to feed an alligator version of a trickster god (it happens so often).

Like any pet, make sure you don’t overfeed them. Don’t expect Alligator Loki to tell you when he’s full, because he won’t. He’ll just keep guzzling down the treats, oblivious to the pain he’s inflicting on his own stomach. The Marvel heroes learned this the hard way, when they overfed Alligator Loki, giving the poor creature a stomachache.

6- Let him reenact popular internet memes

If you love reenacting popular internet memes, then Alligator Loki will be your new best friend. The Gator of Mischief is a great partner for all your viral social media posts. Just keep in mind that there might be some collateral damage along the way. During a Stark gala, Alligator Loki made a mess and caused some mischief. Thor angrily yelled at the gator, recreating the famous “woman yelling at cat” meme (here it is if you’re not familiar). The recreation was hilarious. Was it worth messing up the gala? Honestly – I’m going with yes.

Now you know everything you need to take care of your own Alligator Loki. However, after reading these tips and warnings, you’re probably better off getting a goldfish. Keep in mind, even Thor himself was barely able to handle Alligator Loki, so what hope would you or I have? Let’s be thankful that the Gator of Mischief is fictious, and we don’t have to deal with his chaos in our own lives.

Still, you can’t deny Alligator Loki’s appeal. Perhaps we’ll be able to read more about him soon. See you later Loki gator!

Disney+ Loki season 2: New trailer reveals new characters (and a new look for an old favorite)