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If you're a comic book reader (or any kind of serious pop culture fan), chances are you have That One Character that you have an unusually strong opinions about. For whatever reason, something about this character brings out some personal stakes for you, as if the character is real. Without these feelings, pop culture media wouldn't be what it is today. 

For me, that character is Daredevil. Sure, Matt Murdock might not be real, but to me, he might as well be. I've read every issue of Daredevil ever published, since 1964, because I wanted to have a complete understanding of everything about him, and how that's shifted through time. For lots of reasons, Daredevil stories have intimately represented my family and I's experiences in this country and in New York City (Manhattan, to be precise). But it's taken the first two episodes of the new Daredevil: Born Again series on Disney+ for me to realize that Daredevil may not be the representative figure I've always longed for. Instead, he's a dark mirror reflecting who I could be (in a fictional context of course). And it's a scary sight to behold. 

Daredevil and I have a lot in common. I lost a part of my hearing during my early childhood not from radioactive goo, but from an ear infection. While losing some of my hearing didn't give me Legolas eyes all of a sudden, I adapted to not being able to hear as well as my peers by learning through observation. My father is from a working-class Irish Catholic family that values education, and I grew up going to mass with him every Sunday. Throughout my childhood, I verbally sparred with my dad, my parish priests, and the brothers from a local seminary about Catholic doctrine. As a teenager, I went to music school in Hell's Kitchen. 

But beyond being another disabled, Irish Catholic New Yorker with a boxing paternal figure named Jack, Daredevil pulled me in because he also deals with something I've been wrestling with for most of my life: rage. I was brought up to care about and help other people. Social justice was another cornerstone of my family values. But as the twenty-first century progressed, I became angrier and angrier at what I was seeing unfold all around me. Catholic teaching discourages rage and violence, but I couldn't see how I could remain serene amidst systemic injustice. How could my rage be a symptom of the Devil, when it was a reaction to the evils of racism, misogyny, and so much more?

When I came across Daredevil in my late teens, I was enraptured by how Matt Murdock had to grapple with these same feelings. He became an avatar for me within the pages of Marvel Comics. I felt less alone in my dissonance from the Church. 

Now, however, the Daredevil: Born Again show has brought to light the more concerning aspects about Daredevil's character. Yes, I have always been aware of Matt Murdock's flaws, but the arresting opening of the show painted a different portrait of the character I've loved despite his faults. After Daredevil traipses around the rooftops of Hell's Kitchen, he discovers that his best friend, Foggy Nelson, has been fatally shot by his psychopathic nemesis, Bullseye. The two brawl before Daredevil shoves a bloodied Bullseye off of the rooftop - a move that would kill just about anyone except this supervillain. 

Watching this unfold, I felt like I had the air punched out my lungs, because I could finally see why I've been preoccupied with this character for so long. I wasn't reading or watching him because he's an aspirational or superheroic figure to me like Kyle Rayner's Green Lantern or Jon Kent's Superman. No, he offers a parallel for who I could be, even if I managed to become a successful lawyer and open a law practice I believed in. Born Again shows how our rage can still get the better of us, no matter where we are in life. 

It's about time that the MCU explored the darker sides of its characters. Outside of Robert Downey Jr.'s portrayal of Iron Man, Jon Bernthal's Punisher, most of the Eternals, and Shuri in Wakanda Forever, the MCU has largely stuck to an aspirational power fantasy. Given how much love there is for Daredevil onscreen, let's hope that we'll see more of this approach in the future. Because if Marvel Comics promised to represent 'the world outside your window,' then the MCU should also represent the shadows we all carry within us. 

Fear not, we have the essentials when it comes to Marvel's Daredevil - especially with Marvel Studios' Daredevil: Born Again. Check out:

• The key difference between Netflix's Daredevil and Marvel Studios' Daredevil: Born Again, according to the showrunner
• The best Daredevil stories of all time
• What to watch before Daredevil: Born Again 
• Popverse Picks: Our favorite things for Marvel's Man Without Fear including Ann Nocenti comics, the Netflix series, and more
• How Vincent D'Onofrio reinvented Daredevil's Kingpin
• Marvel's Daredevil actors, ranked from Charlie Cox to Ben Affleck and even Rex Smith
• How Frank Miller accidentally killed a Daredevil cartoon (and Marvel killed a book to avoid pissing him off)
• That time we caught Daredevil actor Charlie Cox sneaking into New York Comic Con as Bluey