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Dread can be a good thing... if it's the door that lead to something better.

After watching Mike Flanagan's Midnight Mass on Netflix, I was left giddy at how amazing the series was - but in the night (and nights after) I found myself fixated on one particular scene that had me grappling with my own mortality. It happens in two parts - first in Midnight Mass episode 4, then revisited in the series finale - where Kate Siegel's Erin and Zach Gilford's Riley talk about the sensitive topic of death - and what happens after we die. You can watch part of it here.

When I recently had the chance to talk with Siegel and her husband (and writer/director of Midnight Mass) Mike Flanagan, I had to bring it up - along with with me coming to terms with it as a Leonard Cohen-esque absolution on mortality. In that moment, Kate Siegel saw me - and it turns out, I saw them and what they were going through in creating this.

"It was such a beautiful piece of writing. When Mike handed that page out I just cried reading it," Siegel tells Popverse. "You are spot-on for Cohen – Leonard Cohen’s ‘Come Healing’ was such a huge part of the preparation for that monologue."

The monologue isn't just for Midnight Mass, Siegel reveals - as its formed the template for what Siegel and Flanagan plan to tell their children as they come of age.

"Both Mike and I agree that my character Erin’s monologue on what happens when we die is what we want our kids to hear from us when we die, as their dad and mom; something we are leaving behind," Siegel continues. "All of that helped me perform this with true gravitas. Mike put me in the perfect position to succeed. It was a very important day on set; we called it ‘Monologue Day.’"

So how was 'Monologue Day' given the weighty subject matter? 

"It was very meditative; it felt spiritual. We were creating something that had meaning to it," says Siegel. "The long crane shot coming in close to me as Erin is dying after her throat was ripped out was the last scene I shot for Midnight Mass."

Siegel reveals to Popverse that following that scene she had "a complete and total breakdown" - as it served to absolve her of what they had been going through.

"I had a complete and total breakdown because I felt the weight come off me; it was our first production after the height of COVID, and the weight of all the expenses we had, and the changes in the world, and on set," says the actor. "In retrospect, it was a perfect storm; the harmony of the performance on Monologue Day and it being my last day, and for it to work so well in the show. At the time it felt unbearable, but I treasure it now."

Read the full Awe Talk: Kate Siegel & Mike Flanagan interview here.

Here's how to watch all of Mike Flanagan's movies & TV shows.